You want us to do WHAT?!?!

Pack 11's Wolf Cubs descended on the Woodruff household tonight to learn about tools. Sterling turned the garage into a lecture hall / workshop, and did a TON of work preparing birdhouse kits for the boys to put together. Prior to the nonstop hammering, there was a brief overview of each tool, and they all got a chance to practice hammering, screwing, etc, into some scrap wood.

They wrapped up a little after 8 and most boys headed home. Sterling and James' Dad/Son friend combo, Fred and Andrew, stuck around for a few more minutes to finish up a task or two and chat about how it went.

Naturally, neither boy could just help clean up, or hang out quietly, they were playing with balls, or Beyblades, or just yelling their fool heads off the whole time. Fred said, "do you guys HAVE to play with those things?". When James went to grab a ball again, I gave him the stinkeye, and he said, "what CAN we do?"

I said, "can't you guys just talk? Just hang out and say, "hey, didn't you like scouts tonight?", "do you like how your birdhouse came out?", "which tool was your favorite?". Ya know, just talk"

Andrew looked at my like I'd swallowed a live rat in front of him, and said incredulously, "That's GIRL stuff!!!". I said, "what, talking?". Again, he looked at me like I'd grown a third eye and said, "YEAH! Talking is for GIRLS."

It's rare that I am speechless, but this was pretty much one of those times.

Derby Time!

That's right, it's Pinewood Derby time! That special time of year when fathers carve cars out of a block of wood for their sons to sand and paint, and hope that they roll straight! The hard work paid off this year, although James' car was a little out of alignment, and thus not speedy, it did look pretty doggone cool and won Best Craftsmanship. That came with a fat trophy, so the boy was pretty tickled. Pics posted in the photo album (click on the link to the right).

My little radar detector

Yesterday was one of those days when we just started off late. We've all been just pooped lately, and James, stinker that he is, has an AWFUL tendency to either play with his toys after he's gone to bed, or sneak a book and flashlight under his covers and read. This typically goes on from his actual bed time of about 8:30, until we go to bed at around 10:00 and catch him. So he's always a bear to wake up in the morning.

Yesterday was no different! After a little prodding, however, we actually had a GREAT morning (thank goodness). He finished up some homework we hadn't completed the night before*, grabbed breakfast, he got himself dressed without getting distracted by the afore-mentioned toys / books (that happens a lot, too), and we got all packed up and headed out the door at 9:10am.

School starts at 9:15. Thank GOD we live right around the corner. So I'm zipping on down the street, and James reports, "Mommy, the speed limit is 45, you are going 50. Wait, now the speed limit says 35". Busted. "You're right, James, I was, thanks for letting me know.. I'm slowing down now". Of course, when we turn the next corner onto the road that his school is on, it drops to 25.. and he let me know about that, too. Granted, I don't typically speed to school, but we also don't normally have 5 total minutes to get there. I crawled down to road, and dropped him off at like 9:12, and told him to hustle. Then I laid rubber and took the corner on 2 wheels! I kid!

So nice to know that if I ever do get pulled over, he'll be able to tell the officer exactly what speed I was going.

*the reason we were so sleepy yesterday is because... we joined the Y! Sterling is WORKING OUT with me twice a week now, and Tuesday was our first night. zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Don't hate the player...

James got a laptop for Christmas, and LOVES it!! He especially loves to play games on it (of course), which often involves completely tuning out his parents (we like to call it "teenager training").
He was playing a Star Wars game the other day, and I was trying to speak to him, and I finally had enough. I just closed the laptop, and when he began to protest, I said, "James, it is just a game". His response? "Yes, Mommy, you're supposed to try to WIN games!".
Touche

Days go by...

This morning, James asked me, "mommy, what's today?". "Thanksgiving", I replied. "No, I mean what DAY?". I said, "Oh, it's the 24th?". "Mommy...nooooooo. I mean WHAT DAY???". "Geez, James, Thursday?". "Yes! Ok, good, (little bit of math obviously going on in the head, with the assistance of some figers), I have three more days until school".
I said, "Oh, are you excited about going back to school on Monday?". "No", he said, "I'm excited because I have three more days of NO school!".
Ok then.

Some days, it does not pay to get out of bed...

So this actually happened a few days ago, and I just got around to sharing...
My typical morning routine consists of coming downstairs, and the dogs IMMEDIATELY requiring their morning cheese, followed the cat annoying the piss out of me until he gets his little saucer of cream, and then the dogs need to go out. I was attending to this last item the other days, and I'd left the front door open. Now granted, the screen door is just that at the moment, screen. And it's chilly. So when James hollered out, "Mommy, I'm closing the front door", I replied, "that's fine, please be sure to leave it unlocked". He confirmed that he would, and shut it.

LIES! I got back to the door, unhooked the dogs (because they go bonkers when they get in the house, just easier to unhook them before opening the door).. and the door was locked. I knocked several times, then rang the doorbell. Well, Blue, ding done that he is, didn't realize that WE were the one ringing the doorbell and started to bark, which set off Merle. At that point, they noticed a neighbor walking by with HIS dog and all bets were off! Blue took off, and I let the screen door close on Merle, leaving him squeezed (but trapped) between the front door and screen door.

Blue was running circles around the neighbor and his dog, and I must have looked like a complete stooge chasing him. I finally got him hooked, when Merle managed to wiggle his way out of the Door Trap and into the melee. Every time I got close, Blue would LUNGE at Merle, like it was big game, so Merle would run away again. I'm not really sure which of them I was most inclined to kill at that moment, but they were both in the running.

To add insult to injury, a CAR comes around the corner, Merle darts in front of it, and I SCREECH his name, honestly thinking he was about to be Beagle Pancake. The driver brakes hard, and bless his heart, actually just stayed put until we resolved the whole thing. I FINALLY got hold of that rotten dog, bid everyone farewell, and we all went our separate ways.

I get back to the front door (which is still closed) and banged that door knocker so hard that there's no way he didn't hear me. I hear thumpy little footsteps run across upstairs, and down the stairs, and FINALLY the door opens. James looks completely puzzled as to why I knocked so hard. He was upstairs playing. I will leave my choice of words at that point up to your imagination.

You should also know that the whole scene took place in my pajamas. Nice.

Is this a trick? 'Cause it sure ain't no treat!

Man! We brought the crummy weather back from DC with us!! It was beautiful the day of the race, and the morning after, but by early evening, rainclouds were rollin' into the Old North State. I guess with all of the amazingly fantastic Halloweens we've had in past years, we were probably due for one crummy one.. but MAN! We should probably count our blessings, that we don't live up north where they got SNOW (and no power!).
So, we trick or treated in the rain. It wasn't a hard rain, thankfully, and after about 3 houses, James couldn't be bothered with his umbrella (that mommy had run back to the house to get). We hit about 1 block, booked back to the house for a pit stop and candy dump, then back out to hit a few more. The Trick or Treaters were in much fewer numbers this year, so most houses handed James a HANDFUL of candy saying "I gotta get rid of this and nobody else is coming around". He did not argue.
Not only was the sheer volume greater than normal, but we live in a pretty awesome ToT neighborhood, anyway, and his stash this year included:
- coupon for a free Frosty from Wendy's
- full-size candybars
- a Pez dispenser with refils
Seriously... can you imagine going out and buying like 50 Pez dispensers for Halloween?! He filled up two buckets (to the top), even after my cut (yes, Mommy gets a cut for walking around in the rain the day after running 26.2 miles... and, because I'm the Mommy, that's why).

It's a thork

After the race, we made our way over to The Dubliner for some awesome food and brews. After we sat down, James picked up his utensil and said, "hey, a thork". Mind you, for some reason, he sometimes substitutes "th" for "f", like you have thingers on your hands, or "may I play a game on your thone?". Apparently it's pretty normal, so no biggie. We assumed it was more of that, and gently said, "it's a what?", assuming he would correct himself.
He repeated, "a thork"... this one only has 3 points, so it's a thork. You call it a "fork" if it has four points.
Hard to argue with that.

I AM A MARATHONER!

That's right, baby, Momma ran 26.2 miles (and walked about another 5-6 on top of that). Full race report on my running blog, if you're interested. If you just want the highlights, here they are:

• I'd estimated completing it in about 5 hours, 30 minutes. My actual time was 5:40:07, but if you factor out the 10 MINUTES I spent waiting in line for a portapotty at mile 8, goal met!
• No, there was no wall. In fact, after mile 20, I had this spurt of energy and ran faster the last 6 miles than the rest of the race... felt amazing!
• Yes, I got choked up at the end, and was a little concerned that they might call over a medic if I couldn't make myself stop wheezing! I tamped it down and finished strong!
• My medal ROCKS!
• Yes, I now have the 26.2 sticker on my car! Brent surprised me with one (he also presented me with my 13.1 sticker back in the spring!), and I cleaned a spot off on my back window the next morning!
  
• My son ran the day before in conditions that would have made me stay home. He earned his medal every bit as much as me!

Busy BUSY weekend! I thought it would be fun and relaxing, but it was mad, MAD I tell you! We actually did accomplish everything that was on the schedule, and have the fresh stress wrinkles to prove it! Pics to be posted to Shutterfly.

Also, upon seeing the Lincoln Memorial, James declared, "wow, he must have been big".

Scraps

Last night, James said the most beautiful words to me.. "Mommy, can we work on my scrapbook?". Yes, yes my little man, of COURSE we can!

A few months ago, we started a Cub Scout scrapbook. He was accumulating all sorts of scout-related stuff, so for his birthday, I bought him an official Cub Scout scrapbook, complete with CS paper and stickers. He typically has the patience / focus to handle scrapping about 1 event at a time (camping, Court of Honor, etc). I typically suggest it to him, on a rainy day, or a day when we want him to calm down and do something indoors.

When he asked me last night, I was over the moon! We finally got around to doing the pics from Court of Honor, and granted, it did take a little longer than I thought it would.

Sterling was patiently waiting to collect him for pre-bed checklist, and I apologized for taking so long. He said, "hey, (not "hay") I get it. He totally Kryptonited you. That's as good as if he'd asked me, 'Daddy, can we go shoot?'". Too true, he appealed to the one thing I love doing with him the most!

This morning he said, "Mommy, can we do scraps again?". Stupid school... I had to say "no" this time.

Related note, when he was REALLY little, his word for this was "scrafts", which meant any type of craft, combined with the fact that he knew Mommy scrapbooks.

Hay, bologna!

We have a game we play as a family. It's called "hay", and that's really about the extent of the game. It started YEARS ago when Sterling and I were dating. We were driving somewhere, and Sterling said "hey!", and I said, "what", and he said "hay!" and pointed to ... you guessed it. A big roll of hay in a field. It became a stupid little thing we did on long drives.

Well, it's now a stupid little thing we do with our kid, only because they're men, it's turned competitive. It's a contest to see who can "hay" someone first. We were engaging in "hey"ness on our way to the beach, when James got tired of us seeing them first, and declared, "it's off. hay is off". We clarified, and confirmed that he had "turned off" the game. At some point he declared it back on, and on we went.

We were at Maggie Moo's the other night, enjoying some yummy ice cream, when Sterling noticed a picture of hay on the wall, and "hey"ed us. James said no, it was off. Sterling said, "what, are all fun things off?". James said yes. Sterling said "bologna", to which James replied, "no, bologna is on. Bologna is on like Donkey Kong!".

And I'll take a recess on "hey" for a gem of a quote like that any day!

This device is not optimized for use with the iPhone

.. but then, who thought toilets were? That's right, TOILETS. Sterling recently dropped his phone into the TOILET! And then, as if that weren't enough to ruin it, he RINSED IT OFF! Mine stops working just from being carried around in my purse, but my husband can drop his damn phone into a TOILET, RINSE IT OFF, and it still works!

.. mostly. For a few minutes, it appears that some water had gotten into the part on the bottom where you plug it in. In fact, sometimes when we plug it into speakers, it gives you the message, "this device is not optimized for use with iPhone", and you have to hit "OK". Apparently, the phone felt that the toilet was not the optimal device, as it gave him this message for a few minutes afterwards. But then it cleared up, and all was well.

I'm on my 7th phone, Sterling could apparently deep sea dive with his and still be on good terms with it. So unfair.

Corndog!

Yesterday, in the middle of Hurricane Irene, I ran a race. It was the first time for this race, and it was a really good one. Good shirts, good swag, and check this... FREE BEER! Yes, if you brought your bib into the restaurant sponsoring the race, you got a free beer. So of course we went there for dinner!

Now mind you, Sterling had made hot dogs for lunch that day, but when James saw corndogs on the dinner menu, he was on it like a hobo on a ham sandwich... or a 7 year old on a corndog! Sterling tried to convince him that he did not need ANOTHER hot dog, but James continued to lobby hard for the corndog, eventually just saying it over and over to get his point across (not as annoying as it sounds). Sterling told him, "James, every time you say 'corndog', I'm going to kiss you", which naturally led to a round of "corndog! corndog!" followed by less-than-gentle daddy kisses, complete with extra whiskers!

I'd forgotten all about it until I was putting James to bed tonight, and he asked (as always) for me to snuggle for a few. We chatted a little, then he got quiet, giggled a little, then said "corndog" and cracked up. I went, "whaa... OH!" and of course, had to start kissing like crazy. We both laughed for a minute, then he said, "you know, if I said that to Daddy, he'd say 'dude, I don't know what you're talking about'". So, I told James I'd send him in. I went to the other room where he was watching TV and told him what James said, and James had nailed it... at first Sterling said "corndog?". I reminded him about it, and of course he had to go down there and allow James to corndog him (yeah, that doesn't sound good, does it?). And that was that!

Show someone how much you love them with a good "corndog!"

First day of school!!!

Hooray! No, I probably didn't have it as bad over the summer as MY mom (and Sterling's). They didn't get to ship their kids off to camp every day during the summer, their kids were banging around the house for 3 months on end. School, for them, was the blessed regaining of a quiet house.

We never quite lost our quiet daytime house, but we did lose our routine. Why bother to be strict about bedtime when you can get the kid to camp whenever? Why scramble to be at camp at exactly the right time when you don't have to? Take a bath? Why bother, you just went to the pool, that's almost the same... right?

So now I am back in MY comfort zone (Sterling and James might be cringing, but momma is happy!). We get up at a certain time, we are out the door at a certain time, school starts at a fixed time. Bedtime is 8:30 on the nose. Yes, you damn well take a bath at night unless you sat immobile all day. Soccer is starting up, and soon Cub Scouts will, too. Our life is about to get busy in whole different way, but it's a SCHEDULED busy, which I can deal with!

Hooray for structure and sanity!

Oh yeah, and here's the cute little man on his first day of 2nd grade! AND, that doggone tooth FINALLY broke the skin and is starting to come in.

Useless Mommy

The King of the Castle got on my case last night about my lackidaisical approach to posting pics or updating the blog. Ya know, cause I have so much time on my hands! Anyhoo... I did get some pics posted, and I hope you'll take note of the 2, count them: TWO recent blog entries (not counting this one).

We've got beach pics and Summer Camp pics out on the Shutterfly site. Enjoy!

A new school year begins!

Already! I know! And because you have seen the results of when James dresses himself, you won't believe what he picked out himself to wear to Open House tonight! Nobody rocks a tie and Birkenstocks like James Woodruff, and his new teacher was appropriately wowed.. as she should have been!

Last week of camp..

So sad! But, like always, they make it a good one! They also call this Spirit Week, and every day has a theme. One of the days was Halloween Costume day, and another was Fashion Disaster Day. Can you guess which was which?

Some things are best left unsaid

Wow, we went back-to-school shopping today and probably spent about a hundred smackers on notebooks, paper, pencils, blah blah blah. One of the things James selected, that was not on his list, was a new ruler. He just really liked this neat little bendy one, and whatever.. in for a penny, in for a pound! Plus, ya know, maybe he'll measure stuff and do some math 'n' stuff.

So we got home, and I asked James to bring it up to his room. He came back down, hollering for Daddy, and I told him he was outside, what did he need? He said, "that ruler would be really good for spanking.. it hurts!". I asked him, ".. and you wanted to let Daddy know that? You sure about that?". It didn't take him more than a few seconds to pick up what Mommy was laying down, and he replied, "oh. no."

The adventure never ends

So James is home "sick" today. He apparently threw up at camp yesterday, and even though he seemed perfectly fine otherwise, he insisted he was still sick today, and I didn't want to be that mom who makes her kid go to camp the day after he threw up and have him do it again.

Pain in my..... as is his wont, unless he's on Death's door, even if he really is sick he'll bounce off the damned walls. When he's fine, as I suspect he is, he's a friggin' mess. He's not been too terribly bad today, but it's like he WAITS until I'm on a phone call (the only work call of the day!) to lose his mind! I finally finish up, send him to his room to clean it, while I hop on one more quick call...

.. which is interrupted by James running into the room saying "I think I swallowed a Lego!". I excuse myself from the call, and ask him, "are you sure? what kind? how big?". Turns out it was a 2-dot block, and all of a sudden he says "I'm scared" and bursts into tears. I console him a little bit, and explain, "that Lego is going to go on quite an adventure".. and I explain how it's eventually coming out. Then he says in this sad little voice, "I wanted to play with it".

This too, shall pass... (haha.. get it?)

Young love

James has a crush. Her name is Maggie, she's a little bit older than him, and she lives down the street. She's cute as a button, and she holds her own with the boys (probably part of the appeal).

This boy cannot WAIT to get home and see if Maggie wants to play! And of course, she always does, because James seems to be alot of fun, too! They are awfully cute! Yesterday they were taking a milk break, and James told her, "you look like the Mona Lisa... the Mona Lisa With Milk!". Have you ever heard anything that smooth?

James told me last week that Maggie was his girlfriend. I asked him if he'd told her that, and after thinking about it for a minute, he confirmed that he had not. My suggestion to him was that he do so, since she might want a say in the matter!

Last night he informed me, "I told Maggie that I loved her". He seemed a little unsure about having done that. I asked him, "what did she say?". "Nothing. She didn't say anything". I let him know that his daddy pretty much did the same thing when I first professed MY love, so it's not that unusual! I said, "you might have surprised her when you told her that, and maybe she just needs to think about it.". He seemed ok with that, but you could tell that this was a big deal for him, it's like he knew what a big step it was to tell a girl that you love her. Wow.