Things you never thought you'd hear yourself say...

I know that motherhood is chock full of unexpected moments, but there are ALOT of things I find myself saying that I would have NEVER anticipated. Here's a sample..

"No, sweetie, take the circle off of your peepee" (James decided to decorate his bits with a foam number "0" in the bathtub)

"Yes, honey, your peepee looks like Saturn, now stop pulling it" (are you sensing a trend here? I think boy mommies deal with this..uh.. area, a bit more than girl mommies)

"James, stop licking mommy. Don't lick mommy's face"

"Put down the dog food. We don't eat dog food"

"Honey, stop chewing on your shoe, that's gross"

"No, James, Saturn's not hungry" (he tried to bring "little Newkie" [a tiny stuffed kitty] and Saturn downstairs for breakfast because they were 'hoongeee")

My favorite JAMES-ism today, is this: we have a quick sit on the potty in the morning to see if he'll do anything (he doesn't), and he tries, but typically we just get a little gas. I said, "whoops, just gas!", and he stood up, looked in, and said, "where'd gas GO?" You never realize how hard it is to explain the concept of gas vs. solids until you're confronted with this.

It's hard work to relax...

Isn't it amazing how much effort you have to put into relaxing? We're gearing up for Woodruff Beach Trip 06 this weekend, and I"m scrambling at work to get everything in order so I can relax on vacation. I think it would almost be easier to just work!
Ditto for our trip to the lake this weekend. It's been on the calendar all month, but for some reason I've had a total mental block, probably because I wasn't involved in the planning, so I just tuned it out. That meant Saturday I would vacilate between "oh, gotta do this before we go to the lake", and "oh, I'll just catch up on that tomorrow (crap! I can't, we're going to the lake!)". Net, net (you like that corporate-talk?), we had a day at the lake planned with Sterling's pals and their fams.
Lord what a long row that was to hoe! We didn't actually leave the house until well after 10am (read "I think I'm going to pass ooouuu..." for details). Then we had a long drive to Honey and Grandaddy's. Sterling decided to make a massive batch of mac 'n' cheese for lunch on the lake THAT DAY. He also decided we'd just stop in RR, make it while James visited G&H, and then we'd go on. Ok, sounds plausible.... MYTH BUSTED!! It was the complete opposite of relaxing.
Becky had to be staked out in the yard, and would freak out if I left her sight. The kids next door wanted to play with James... outside, and frankly, I was just too freakin' hot to deal with it (call me a grouch, I don't care... I hate the heat and I was already cranky to start with, it happens!). Sterling and Dad were trying to make the M&C, but Dad has not had the pleasure of making this from scratch before, and much to his and Sterling's chagrin, allowed the sauce to scorch... incurring the wrath of the man with the least amount of patience to begin with (Sterling). Sterling finally threw his burnt-ass mac 'n' cheese in the oven, I grabbed a glass of wine, and we all took a deep breath.
A little while later we packed it all back up and headed to the lake...where the relaxation kinda kicked in. Granted, with a 2-yr old, you never REALLY relax, but we did have fun. There are great pics in the photo collection. James got to ride his first jet ski, and had an absolute BLAST. Everyone was amazed at how big he is. Sterling's friend Tony said, "when ya'll walked up, I figured you were watching someone else's kid today, too, and that James must still be in the car.. he's HUGE!" He was social and chatty, charmed everyone around him (as always) and had a fabulous time. Becky seemed to enjoy herself, too... she did a little swimming, a little sniffing, a little running, and lot of laying down on the ride home. She was good and pooped, but we were happy to see her running around and having a good time.
So, all's well that ends well. It would have been really easy to be totally crotchety about the way the day started, but Sterling nailed it... James had a good time, we have fun pictures to prove it, and the bad stuff just kinda fades away....

Oh my, I think I'm going to pass ooooooouu....

I know that every mother dreads the day ( and yet it's inevitable ) when she will find her son bleeding from the head and covered in blood. For me, that day was today. While getting ready to head out for a day at the lake, Sterling had the back door of the Jeep open, our son REFUSES to watch where he's going, and I think you can see where THIS is going...
Yep, head wound. Crack! right on the door at full speed. And head wounds, if you know anything about these, bleed like the dickens. So I came downstairs, thinking "la dee da dee da, we're just finishing getting our stuff together", and found a scene from "ER" taking place on my kitchen counter. Sterling had James seated, ala hospital bed, on the counter and was holding a paper towel to his head. Beside him were already-used paper towels covered in blood, as were his and James' clothes. My first thought was, "do I throw up or pass out?". But Mommy Mode kicked in, and I just asked what I could do to help. Sterling was AWESOME. He kept him calm, cleaned him up, and all Mommy had to do was step in at the end with some snuggles for the final calming. Poor thing, he's walked into cars, walls, chairs, and tripped full-length, face-first over Becky yesterday. What's it going to take to get him to LOOK?!?!

Minute Manipulator ("mynoot", not "minuht")

While driving to The Rapids enroute to a "fun relaxing day at the lake" (don't get us started), James decided to entertain himself by licking his legs from knees to toes. Say it with me.. "gross". So we chastised him, several times, and on the last, most forceful command to stop, he erupted in tears. He cried for about 30 seconds, realized he wasn't get a reaction (because we'd pretty much numbed out by now), so he paused to let us know, "I'm crying!", then kept going. Just in case we hadn't noticed, right?

Families who cook together... clean ALOT

It's good for him to learn about cooking. I'm teaching him valuable lessons. We're bonding. He's learning to contribute to the household. This the mantra I repeat to myself when I'm cleaning up AFTER the cooking and the "helping".

On a completely unrelated note, after a thoroughly exhausting round of pretty much everything, including cooking, I crashed on the living floor and just lay there for a while, letting James drive cars over me. I didn't realize it, but I was humming the Mickey Mouse song ("hot dog, hot dog, hot diggity dog!"... you know which I'm talking about), and apparently I do that alot (if you know which one I'm talking about, you probaby hum it yourself, it's pretty infectous). James stopped what he was doing and said, "NOOOOO MOOOOOMEEEE! STOP IT! STOP IT MEEEKEY MOOOHWS!!!"

Hot dog!

Thanks, GrandmaSis...

... for the SpongeBob dry erase board and MARKER. Luckily, this came off with a wet washcloth, and apparently that teeekowed (tickled).

Some people have too much time on their hands...

Was it really broken? Forget the birds and the bees.. how am I going to explain to a 2-yr old that one of his PLANETS went away?

Nine Planets? Count Again -- Minus Pluto
POSTED: 9:41 am EDT August 24, 2006

Pluto is no longer a planet.The International Astronomical Union approved new guidelines Thursday that downsize the solar system from nine planets to eight.The leading astronomers, meeting in Prague, Czech Republic, stripped Pluto of the planetary status it has held since 1930, when it was discovered.In doing so, the group provided a new definition of what is and what isn't a planet.Pluto failed to make the new cut because its oblong orbit overlaps with Neptune's. It will now be a founding member of the new class of "dwarf planets."The guidelines also require planets to have enough mass that they are close to round.Astronomers have been trying to draw a distinction between the eight "classical planets" -- Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune -- and Pluto, which is smaller than Earth's moon and has an eccentric orbit.Pluto has a large moon named Charon, and two small moons named Nix and Hydra were discovered in 2005.In January, NASA sent a probe known as New Horizons on the way to Pluto. It is expected to reach the object in 2015.

Funny you should say...

James picks up the funniest little sayings. They're not bad or wierd, they're normal every-day sayings that just sound funny coming from a 2.5-year-old. Yesterday I came downstairs while he and daddy were having a late lunch, which included self-fed yogurt. As you can imagine, he got a little on himself. He said, "mommy, I need a napkin, I need to ceenup*" (ceenup= Clean Up). How many two year olds specifically ask for a napkin? Funny.
So this morning, after he finished his breakfast, I put the plate on the floor so Becky could lick the crumbs. After about 2 seconds, James said, "that's enough, Becky. that's enough". It's what I tell her when she's getting a little toooo into licking the plate and starting to get annoying with the licky/slobber sounds. That's enough.

Moooooview review

Sterling took James to see his second movie today, Barnyard. It was rated PG for "mild peril". Mild peril? Doesn't the word "peril" make you think it's not mild? per·il ( P ) Pronunciation Key (prl) n. 1. a. Imminent danger. b. Exposure to the risk of harm or loss. I guess it could be mild danger, but then it's not really danger, is it? More of an annoyance. Anyhoo, I digress.
They got home, and James said, "Mommy! Movie! No cars." Cars was his first movie and has clearly set the bar. I said, "oh yeah, what was in this movie?". James: "cows.". He seemed to like it, but Sterling said he got a little wiggly towards the end. It didn't hold his attention the way a bunch of talking cars did.

Close encounters of the sleepy kind

Around midnight last night, I had a little visitor. I was awakened by "mommy? water! water!" (in hindsight, he sounded like he'd been crawling in the desert for days!). So I stumbled out of bed, and said, "ok, sweets, let's go in mommy's bathroom and get you some water.". We walked calmly to the bathroom while I got him a glass of water, which he downed like he was parched to the core. He asked for more, he got it, and then he set the cup down and said, "thank you", then started to shuffle back to his room. I thought, wow, this is going pretty easy. He shuffled back into our room, around the chest of drawers, and into the wall. Ooops.. door is a few feet to the right! I realigned him, and guided him back into bed where he went right down without any protest.

This morning we got out of our bed again, and went into his room to drop off lion and paci. I saw that little kitty was in bed (his little stuffed kitten), and said, "oh, sweetie, did little kitty sleep with you last night?", and he said, "yes, all long night. I slept with little kitty all night". Sweetie.

Darn that boy!

Now it's his TOOTHBRUSH in the friggin' penny jar!

Update

Oh yeah, Sterling rescued screwdriver... with some direction from James. What would we do without his help?

Nothing like a little toddler manipulation

James is learning the fine art of negotiation.. sort of. He's starting to get quite savvy about trying to get mommy to go places we really don't *need* to go, places with fringe benefits for him!

Tuesday ride home:
James: Mommy? Teetie? Go Teetie? (Harris Teeter)
M: No, sweetie, we don't have to go to Teetie today
J: Balloon? Balloon, Teetie? (now the truth comes out... I didn't *think* he was interested in crossing off the grocery list).
M: No, honey, no balloons, today, no Teetie.
J: Cooookie, mommy? Cooookie?
M: James, no, we're not going to Teetie (trying not to laugh).
.... quiet for about a block
J: Mommy? Haircut?
M: What? Haircut? No, James, you just had a haircut, why do you want another haircut?
J: Lollipop? Blululullululu Lollipop?
M: No, silly, no lollipops
J: YES!
M: NO!
J: YYYYEEEEESSS (in silly monster voice)
M: Noooooooo (also in silly monster voice)
at this point we both just start laughing until we cough.

Thursday:
J: Mommy? Ice cream?
M: No, James, no ice cream today (Goodberry's is right near the Teetie and we pass it on the way home. Lest you thing we ply our child with custardy goodness on a regular basis, I can count the number of times on one hand that we've taken him there. )
J: Mommy? that way? that way, please???
His new thing is that he really likes to give you directions... "that way"... perhaps he'll be an air traffic controller?

Friday:
We actually DO go to Teetie, where he gets his balloon (no cookie, they were OUT. Harris Teeter, this does not bode well for you when you are out of cookies.. that means we don't spend as much time shopping. Take a note!). As we are driving out of the parking lot...
J: Mommy? ice cream?
M: James, didn' t you have ice cream at Keatey's house today?
J: Yeeees.
M: Then no more
J: (pause)..... ice cream?

You gotta hand it to him, he's persistent!

Please excuse me, I'm having A Mommy Moment

I'm sure it happens to us all, eventually. Our mommy streak takes over and strikes fear into the hearts of young an old alike. So it was Beer Wednesday, James and Keaton were running around like the wild men they are (think Lord of the Flies), and one of them got hold of the flashlight.... and was not interested in sharing (yes, it was my child). We managed to negotiate 1 share, which was quickly brought to an end, and off they went again, James in the lead with Keaton trailing, hollering that it was his turn.
I should break for a moment and explain that my munchkin has a sinus infection and just started antibiotics. I can tell he's not himself, but he was just being mean-spirited. So I felt the need to put an end to this, quickly.
On the next cycle through the kitchen, I made my move. With cat-like reflexes, I reached in and snatched the flashlight from the little hands that were clutching it, and attempted to let them know that I was removing it from play altogether.
If you've been to a BW, you know that it can get loud. Not raucous pirates-on-shore-leave loud, but people are chatting, kids are screaming, they're huddled in the kitchen, and I was neither audible nor getting my point across. So I hollered...kinda loud.
"CAN EVERYONE PLEASE STOP JUST FOR A MINUTE?!? NOW, I AM TAKING THE FLASHLIGHT, NEITHER OF YOU CAN SHARE SO NOBODY GETS IT. DO YOU UNDERSTAND? NOW GO PLAY IN THE LIVING ROOM".

silence

I've never really seen other adults look at me with such a deer-in-headlights look. I also didn't really know I had that kind of POWER (mwwwWOOOOHAHAHAHA!). And just like that, the moment passed, there were some nervous chuckles, and BW continued. Stacy, who was sequestered in the other room by a hungry newborn said, "you did exactly what I wanted to do". See, other moms get it.

Brush dah teef? Toofpase, please?

James just LOVES his new Dr Fresh Firefly toothbrush. I must admit, I also find it pretty freakin' cool! It's supposed to encourage kids to brush and help make sure they brush long enough, although that's never really been a problem for James. He does ask to brush more often now, though. This toothbrush lights up and blinks for 1 minute, AND it has *sparkles*... told you it was cool! James now requests that we turn off the lights in the bathroom so that we can see the blinking even better. It's like watching a jack-o-lantern brush his teeth, and I'm a little surprised that he's not succumbed to seizures with that light blinking right in front of his face, but I'm sure not about to pry it away from him anytime soon!

Oh, screwdriver...

So the other day, James comes to me chattering something about "pennies" and a word that was initially unintelligible, but I soon ascertained to mean "screwdriver". I thought, "what? pennies and screwdrivers?". Well, yes, that's exactly what he meant. When he showed me, he then said, "oh, screwdriver", like, oh, we'll miss you. And we will, because neither of can figure out how to get the stupid thing out. James the Builder is down 1 tool.. gonna be hard to work on the car...

An epiphany

One of the neat things about parenting is that in addition to seeing this younger generation you're raising, you also start to understand more about the one which raised *you*. You struggle with little things that make you wonder "how the heck did my mom do this?" or "wow... no wonder my parents used to get frazzeld when I'd...", etc. The one that I think is the most interesting is the one where we used to think of "parents" and "people" as two separate, disciminate entities. Parents <> people. Remember how we all used to think our parents were boring, and didn't get us, and never did anything fun? THAT'S US!! I remember being fun, and doing stuff, but I know that kids look at me toting my tot around and think I"m just some mom (I got called "ma'am" by a carful of teenages asking for directions this weekend!!). You have a kid, and everything really does change.
Yes, we still do stuff, but it's different stuff, and it's soooo not spontaneous! Often, we're too tired to do all of the things we'd like to do, or can't work it into our schedule, or just don't feel like we can fritter away the cash for a night out on the town.. we're responsible now! This week, I had a "night out" with my best bud Jamye (at her mom's... woooHOOO!), followed the next night by wine and scrapbooking with Liz and Bethany. I'm STILL tired.
I swear, for like the first year after James was born, I didn't recognize myself. I dragged butt everywhere, had no time for hobbies, and all I could think of was "where'd I go? who's that raggedy-lookin' chick in the mirror, and why won't someone let her know that she's got such awful bags under her eyes?" LOL. And then you start to work things in. Little things, here and there. A night out with the girls, a DATE with hubby, you start hobbies again (very intermittantly!), and you realize that there is some balance. But naturally, it's still typically a FAR second to the new man in your life.
I remember laughing at my mom for watching "Square Foot Gardening", "This Old House", and "The Victory Garden". I thought it was so dorky! I now look forward to getting MIL's hand-me-down This Old House mags, Southern Living, and I cannot get enough HGTV, FoodTV, and any science channels. My son is going to think I am the dorkiest, boringest woman on the face of the planet! What goes around certainly does come around!
When we all moved out or started to grow up and our parents "suddenly discovered" hobbies, I know many of us were thinking how nice it was that our parents had something to do now that we weren't around to give them purpose. Did we think they enjoyed doing our laundry? Reminding us to bring the lunches they made? Driving us around? They weren't *discovering* anything.. they were getting their lives back! And how cool for them! And how cool it will be for us when we get there.
But I'm not in a hurry.. I'm enjoying learning about the generations on either side of mine.

The chase is on...

Well, now every day I pick up James I'm barely acknowledged when I walk in the door. He looooves him some Keaton! Stacy says that during the day, they'll just hang out and suddenly one will turn to the other and say "chase?", and it's on! They just hop up and start chasing each other. They take turns being chaser and chasee, and the end result is typically one person falling down, and the other tumbling on top. Man, those are some silly silly boys. Stacy must just laugh all day long...

James is also getting even more verbose. I picked him up yesterday and here's our conversation on the car ride home:
me: did you have a good day, sweets?
J: yeah!
me: what did you do?
J: Keaty fell down. He got a boo boo.
me: he did? where?
J: his knee
me: oh no! did Stacy kiss it?
J: yes. momma? James fell down
me: you did? (little skeptical, but hey, it's likely)
J: yes, I have a boo boo
me: really. where?
J: (points to knee)
me: hmm.. did Stacy kiss it?
J: yeah.
then I hear the alphabet song which merges into Twinkle Twinkle, and eventually we settle on the Itsy Bitsy Spider. He doesnt' stop talking or singing until we get home!

So, we get home, and I decide that it's time for dinner. James has recently taken to pushing one of the kitchen chairs up against the counter so he can watch me if I"m cooking. A few days ago, he neglected to push it up against the counter,... but he still leaned on the back of the chair. Needless to say, "oh no, James fell down".
He helped me make "mussins" (muffins). He likes to mix with mommy. He gets his own bowl and a small spoon, and I put a dash of flour in his bowl. Well, he decided to sample the flour, and it was clearly not to his liking (very funny face!). So I threw in a small dash of sugar, which was INCREDIBLY to his liking, and he proceeded to upend the bowl and lick it out... giving himself a flour/sugar goatee. He helped me dump ingredients into the mussin mix, and sprinkled the struesel topping on top (more than half made it on the mussins.. not too shabby).

Today he helped me unload the dishwasher.. he handed me utensils (reciting the name of each one as he handed them to me!), but I had to draw the line at loading.. he kept wanting to grab the messy dishes! Goofball.

So he's chatty, he's got responsibilities, and he goes to bed on time and sleeps all night. Wow... what a grown-up little boy he's becoming. I'm just glad he's not to big to kiss his mommy.

Summer pics

Ah, I've been remiss in posting pics. The other day, James and I were enjoying popsicles on the back deck and I realized, holy cow, I am not taking half as many pics as I used to! Perhaps it's the camera that I've taken a death vow to dismember as soon as we procure a replacement. Perhaps it's the fact that all of the space on our hard drive is nearly full. Ah, mischief, thy name is Technology! Anyway, I whipped that sucker out, and after spending 5 mins booting it up, I took some cute pics of my favorite subject. Two weeks later, I posted them! Check out our shutterfly collection. cya!

WOW... supah slackah!

I just realized that July pretty much came and went sans blog entries. I'm sorry. James is off to college now, and we're trying to figure out what to do with his old room... oops! No, wait, my bad... I'm not THAT behind. It just feels like it.

James is sleeping soundly now, we have a whole bedtime routine, and we're all doing pretty darned well with it. He goes down between 8 and 8:30, and is first serenaded by mommy singing Harry Connick Jr's. "The Man in the Moon". He will often accompany me, and it's awfully cute/funny! Daddy pretty much refuses to sing along. We then get 1 reading of Snugglepuppy, from the fabulous Sandra Boynton (despite repeated requests for "more?"). We then turn on his Nora Jones CD, cut the lights, briefly ooooo and ahhh at the stars on his ceiling, then it's night night. Depending on his energy level, we may have 2-3 more "visits", wherein he'll stroll in the room wearing a poop-eatin' grin ("aren't I cute? how can you be mad at THIS?"), but he'll eventually settle down. We had the threaten with... the gate... for about a week or so, but we're pretty much past that now. In the morning, around 6ish, we'll hear a slight slam of a door closing (it's not enough to leave his room, he has to close the door behind him) feel a *thump* at the foot of the bed, accompanied by scurrying up to the head of the bed. If I don't immediately grab the little decorative pillow to plunk in between ours, he will sit there and sob "leetle peelow? leetle peelow??". So he gets his leetle peelow, and we all snuggle back to sleep. If he's feeling particularly raring to go, he'll hang out for about 15 mins, then say "wake up! brush teef! c'mon momma! " ... and the day begins, much to our chagrin.

How to stay cool when it's hot...

...it's all about accessories and attitude.

It's Potty Time!

Well! We had our first pee on the potty today! James just got a look like he might have to go (it's amazing the things you tune into as a parent!), so I said excitedly "let's go sit on the potty!! let's get some potty surprises!*". So we did, he sat down, and got a look on his face about 2 mins later that made him look deep in thought... then we saw the trickle on the rug, seat, etc! Did I mention he had a soccer ball on his lap, too? No, well, he did, and it got peed on, too. HOWEVER... WE PEED ON THE POTTY!!! We high-fived, and he got to pick out his potty surprise! Hooray!

* I have to give a nod to Nick's mom for this one... potty surprises are just little stickers wrapped up in tissue like presents. He gets to pick one when he goes potty.